Why Adulting feels hard? You're not alone

I recently had the privilege of sitting down with Kelvin, Chi Keng, and Boon Tee from the Bagholder Pod for a heartfelt conversation about navigating life’s transitions—adulthood, career uncertainty, being laid off, standing out in the job market, and the deeper question of what truly makes life meaningful.

We started by looking at a Reddit post where the author vulnerably shared:

If you’ve ever felt this way, know that you’re not alone.

In our 20s and 30s, it often seems like everyone else has life figured out while we’re still piecing things together.

The truth is—there’s no perfect roadmap. Careers are rarely linear, financial stability takes time, and personal fulfilment isn’t something we “find.”

It unfolds over time, shaped by our choices, experiences, and even setbacks.

Here are a few key reflections from our conversation:

1. Why is transitioning into adulthood so hard?

I shared my perspective on why this transition can be challenging: we’re younger, we imagine a clear, predictable path—graduate, land a dream job, build a stable life. Yet, life rarely unfolds in a straight line.

The transition into the workforce can feel overwhelming, not just professionally but also financially and emotionally. Beyond navigating our careers, we’re figuring out CPF, BTOs, investments, savings, and, more importantly, our own sense of identity and purpose.

It’s normal to feel lost at times, to question if we’re falling behind, or to wonder if we’re meant for something more.

We have to acknowledge growth isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about learning to be okay with uncertainty and making the best choices with what we know today.

That’s why I create content—to make the journey a little easier for others. If sharing my experiences helps someone feel less alone, or more hopeful about the future, then that makes it all worthwhile.

2. Success at Work is Measurable. Love and Connection Are Priceless 

Career and finances are important—they provide stability, opportunities, and the ability to support ourselves and our loved ones. However, they are not the main thing in my life.

I opened up to Kelvin and his team that losing my grandmother one year into my career was a defining moment for me. It made me realize that time with the people we love isn’t infinite, and no job title or promotion will ever replace the moments we postpone with them.

Work often gives us instant, measurable rewards—pay raises, promotions, recognition. Relationships don’t have KPIs, bonuses, or performance reviews. However, over time, the effort we put into them compounds into something invaluable—trust, love, and a sense of belonging.

Many professionals only realize too late that they’ve been giving their loved ones the leftover scraps of their time and energy.

Though I didn’t mention this on the podcast, my views are deeply shaped by Taoist and Buddhist philosophies. Taoism reminds me to flow with life rather than force outcomes. Buddhism teaches that excessive attachment to external achievements can lead to suffering. Both emphasize balance—between ambition and contentment, striving and stillness.

3. What sets high performers apart?

One key trait I’ve noticed among those who thrive is a growth mindset. Instead of envying others, they ask: “What can I learn from them?”.

They take ownership of their journey, seek continuous improvement, and move forward with purpose.

In contrast, those who struggle often fall into the crab mentality —instead of learning from others, they dismiss, discredit or try to badmouth their peers who excel.

This mindset is limiting because it focuses on tearing others down rather than lifting ourselves up. When you are surrounded by such people, they can hold you back.

Real growth requires humility — the openness to learn from others while staying grounded in our own journey. At the end of the day, we rise higher when we support and celebrate one another.

If you’ve ever felt lost, stuck, or unsure of your path—know that you’re not alone. We’re all figuring it out, one step at a time.

I’d love to hear from you: What have been your biggest realisations about career, relationships, and fulfilment? 🙂 

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