How come you don't chill?

My lifestyle is quite different from many people.

I rarely watch Netflix, game, drink alcohol, use TikTok or feel any urge to keep traveling.

In my free time, I like to cycle, read about business and personal growth, listen to podcasts, write, take ice baths, sprint and go to the gym.

I am also a bit of a geek. I enjoy deeper conversations about relationships, health, technology, social issues, philosophy etc.

I never really felt out of place being the way I am. This is partly because I have always been in my own bubble.

The SaaS / Tech sector generally attracts growth oriented individuals.

The high performers are driven, actively take steps to pursue things they want, curious and interested in health. You rarely come across someone who just complains about work and life, and does not do anything about it.

Outside of work, many have some kind of passion, be it podcasting; teaching children or volunteering for a cause they care about.

At my workplace, most people care about being better versions of themselves: they dress well, take care of hair and skin, go to gym / BFT, have hobbies and are willing to hustle.

Even if there are differences, I feel accepted. People talk to me during networking and hang out with me at bars, even when I drink sparkling water with lemon.

As I step out of this bubble and engage with people from different backgrounds than me, I realized this drive to be better is some times seen as ‘weird’.

When people learn about my hobbies and lifestyle… They often react like “How do you have fun? How do you chill?”

I will reply that I gym, cycle, do ice bath, read books, create content and speak at events.

Yet, the answers somehow won't count as “hobbies” or relaxation.

I get judged for being 'too productive'.

And, as a woman, being ‘driven’ is also somehow equals to not being focused on relationships or family.

If you’re in the same boat as me, here are some things which could help you:

We define what fun looks like for ourselves

I realized the underlying assumption here by many is that I am not having fun.

The truth is I find joy in my lifestyle. The idea of waking up at 6AM, going for an ice bath, spending the morning on focused work and ending the work day with gym is so appealing.

I feel like a winner when I do that. I find comfort in systems. I get dopamine hits from the pursuit of a better version of me.

In fact, I find happiness in becoming better in all aspects of my life i.e. posture, the way I speak or completing sprints.

Be secure in who you are

It is important to be secure about who you are and what you value. That way you will not change yourself to fit in.

To put bluntly, if I did not live the way I did, I will not have this standard of living today.

I feel like I only live once and want to be the best possible version of myself in my career, finances, relationships and physical fitness and health.

I believe in this so much that I write this weekly newsletter dedicated to sharing my learnings about this pursuit with others.

Find your tribe

Just like people find my lifestyle, hobbies and mindset ‘weird’, I also find some others mindset strange.

For example, I cannot understand why someone will not want to invest heavily in their looks and health. There is so much leverage that comes with it.

I guess our idea of normal comes from who we surround ourselves with.

This applies not just to peers but also to families. I joined a fitness club in my neighbourhood this year. I observed that sporty and fit parents also raise kids that are the same. Parental influence is so key!

Our digital reality also matters. I am strict with the number of accounts I follow in Instagram and keep it to less than 300.

Following Sahil Bloom, Shane Parrish, Peter Attia and Dan Go’s newsletter has had a huge impact on me.

Recommendations: Join me on ClassPass

This app which allows users to try the best fitness classes, gyms, wellness and beauty venues.

Why I love it:

⭐ Variety: This is the most cost-effective way to take classes at a variety of different studios and try new gyms. I found many good ones near my place and really like the facilities

⭐ Exercise with friends: I can now exercise with my bestfriend and we go to BFT together

⭐ Use hotel facilities like their pool and gym. For example, ParkRoyal Hotel Pickering pool and gym is accessible via ClassPass.

ClassPass is giving an exclusive free trial (with 20 bonus credits!).

How you can transform your reality?

Sahil Bloom’s recent video resonated with me significantly.

Here are some points which I love:

12:22 - Know your darkest hour friends. They are the ones that matter the most

15:25 - The fastest way to change your life is to spend time with those inspire you to think bigger and change your life

19:01 - Be disciplined in Choosing Your Circle

19:38 - Be Impressive to Yourself

22:38 - It's the People, Not Just the Journey or Destination

“My biggest learning is that that I can filter my whole world based on this core set of value which will change who I am around and the tribe I am surrounding myself with. 

When you do that, everything in your life will come into alignment,”

Sahil Bloom

I am a Singaporean tech worker and content creator. Every week, I share ideas on how we can become our best selves in our career; finance; health and relationships.

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