How to prevent distractions

I recently attended a talk by Nir Eyal earlier this week.

For those who are unfamiliar with him, he is a best selling author who wrote the book Indistractable.

The book shares about how we can understand and overcome distractions to gain better control over our attention and time.

By preventing distractions, Nir hopes he can help us live with intention and avoid regrets about wasting our time and life.

I take what Nir Eyal says because he has written two successful books and is also in amazing shape. These two things are a living testament to focus, discipline and resilience.

Here are three points he discussed:

1. Distractions begin from within

Distraction has more to do with our internal state versus external triggers.

Examples of internal triggers include boredom, stress, or anxiety. These drive us to seek distractions as a way to escape discomfort.

If you can understand and address the discomfort that leads to distraction, you can better manage your time.

For example, if you’re avoiding a task because it’s stressful, finding ways to reduce that stress or change your relationship with the task can make it easier to focus.

This applies to weight gain also.

Many people eat not just because they’re hungry, but to cope with negative emotions like stress, sadness, boredom, or anxiety. Eating can some times provide temporary relief from these uncomfortable feelings.

Successful weight management often involves learning to tolerate or manage discomfort in healthier ways—whether it’s finding alternative methods to cope with stress, learning to enjoy physical activity, or confronting emotional issues that lead to overeating.

❓ Whenever you find yourself avoiding a specific task, ask yourself “What is the emotion I am avoiding that is associated with this task?” 

2. Humans need: Competency, autonomy, relatedness

Self-determination theory, a popular theory of human motivation, says that we all need three things for psychological well-being: competence, autonomy, and relatedness.

• Competence: the need for mastery, progression, achievement, and growth

• Autonomy: the need for volition and freedom of control over our choice

• Relatedness: the need to feel like we matter to others and that others matter to us

When we are denied these psychological nutrients, the needs displacement hypothesis says that we look for them elsewhere.

At times, distractions can stem from not getting these needs met in our lives.

For example, when some lack the feeling of autonomy, competence and relatedness in their life, they might get hooked on video games.

As Nir Eyal explains “Gamers feel competence when they practice strengths to achieve their aims. In a game, players have the autonomy to call the shots, do what they want, and experiment with creative strategies to solve problems. Games are also social outlets where players can feel relatedness.”

❓ Whenever you find yourself doing something too much, ask yourself “What is it that I am not getting from my real life that makes me turn to this outlet?”

3. Intent is key

Distraction is not possible if there is nothing to distract you from.

Therefore, it is important to be intentional about how we want to use our time.

One good question to ask yourself is: How would the person I want to become spend the day?

From there, you can plan accordingly (Nir Eyal also encourages us to use time-boxing to manage our schedule).

Here is an example: Quality Time with a Partner

• Timebox Relationship Time: Schedule an hour in the evening, say from 7:00 PM to 8:00 PM, for uninterrupted time with your partner. This could be for a dinner, a walk, or just catching up.

• Manage Internal Triggers: If you’re mentally distracted by work during this time, gently remind yourself of the importance of being present. Practice mindfulness by focusing on the conversation and the moment.

• Create Precommitments: Agree with your partner to keep this time free of distractions, like checking phones or watching TV, so you both stay fully engaged.

To evaluate our success is to ask ourselves: Did I do what I say I will for the time I want without distractions?

Intent also applies to the label you apply to yourself. Language shapes expectations, which shape our reality.

Here are three other useful tips he shared: