Is Adulthood really a scam?

I hit 30, and I feel adulthood is a scam. Do you feel the same?

I recently chanced upon this Reddit post titled I hit 30, and I feel adulthood is a scam. Do you feel the same?

The author lamented about his frustrations and boredom about his work week being a routine; and weekends being burnt really quickly.

He shared about being unable to switch off; having low energy levels after work and loneliness.

A lot of us in our 20s and 30s do struggle with several points he raised.

We spend their school days working hard. When we graduate, many of us find adulthood to be daunting; overwhelming; hard to navigate and to adapt to. Many feel like a cog in a bigger machine, going through the motion and wondering if this is what life is about.

To some degree, I also feel like leaving school has some similarities with leaving prison. You lose structure and predictability. This is why many prisoners also struggle with life and adapting to the world after being released and having to find their own path.

In my first year after graduation, I struggled with similar thoughts too.

I eventually realized that a meaningful life is something you create for yourself.

At the end of the day, I cannot control how long I will live for or many things that happen to me.

So, I just want to maximize my potential; build meaningful deep relationships and leave a positive impact. If I have all these things, I feel I can die without regrets.

Here are some things which have worked for me:

1. Investing multiple times per week on fitness and health

Your health is an investment, not an expense.

To ensure high energy levels, metabolic rate must be maintained at high levels. This means good diet and also constant exercise to build stamina is key.

There is really no such thing as too tired to exercise or too busy. It is just not a priority to people when they say that.

One of the people who inspired me is my former Solution Architect.

When we were going through a low point, he told me that it is important to ensure that we are in shape. I saw him waking up early each morning to run; cycling often and starting to improve his health. This positively influenced me to also step up my efforts when it comes to exercise.

2. Getting a job you like

In our early years, I feel it is really important to experiment and also get to know ourselves on a deeper level.

If we have a job we are engaged in and are good at, that really helps as most of us spend a lot of time at work.

No job is perfect and every job has trade offs. The question is really: What are you optimizing for at this point in your life?

For example, in my case, I recently lost a lot of free time I used to have.

A high growth company moves at a different pace and has much stricter and higher expectations.

This transition feels like going to an elite school.

However, the opportunity; learning and growth is worth it.

I just have to be a lot more selective about who and what I spend my time on. I am at peace with giving up coffee chats since I want to be more focused about the way I network.

3. Meaningful relationships

Since you have lesser free time, it is important to be deliberate about your relationships.

I am extremely clear about who are the type of people I want to invest further in and who I do not.

I like traits like conscientiousness; high eq; loyalty; growth mindset/competence; depth and compassion. When I meet someone new, I often scan for these things and decide if I want to invest further.

If people do not wish to invest time and energy in me, I’d not chase and focus on other friends instead.

It is up to you to take the lead some times.

I spent the past few mid-autumn festivals wishing someone will organize a celebration and also invite me.

No one did. It was sad during the evenings and I found myself wishing “Hope next year can celebrate mid autumn festival together and carry lanterns”