Losing my lovebird, Banana

It has been a really tough week for me.

My yellow and orange lovebird, Banana, has been missing since Sunday.

On Sunday morning, I woke up to find that both of my lovebirds were gone. I spent the entire day looking for the two of them.

The next day, a glimmer of hope came when one of them was found.

He had flown near the kitchen window of an elderly woman. She gestured for him to come over and he did. She hosted him with food, water and shelter.

Her son searched for posts about lost pets in a Lost and Found Pets Facebook Group and reached out.

I am grateful for the family’s kindness and care towards him.

Banana is still missing. He has been gone since Sunday.

I have been in a state of grief since.

I’ve hand-raised Banana since he was just a baby. He has been my daily companion. I wake up to his sounds and look at him before I sleep.

He has been by my side especially during challenging times like the circuit breaker.

He comes out of his cage every day, follows me around the house, perches on my shoulder while I work, and keeps me company during household chores.

I come home to an enthusiastic pet who is visibly excited and cannot wait to come out and spend time together. His presence brings warmth and joy to my life in many ways.

As a pet owner, I know that I have to say goodbye one day.

Either me or them, would go first. This is just like any relationship in our life.

I just did not expect this to be so soon and so sudden. After all, a lovebird can live for 10-15 years.

Losing a pet is a painful experience because they are so pure and unconditional in their love.

Besides grief, I am also worried that he could be in danger—vulnerable to larger birds, stray cats, starving or with the wrong person.

Banana loves human beings, is charming and very trusting.

It is really likely he might have flown into someone’s home. The person who found him may not realize how much care and space a lovebird needs.

Many people keep birds in cages 24/7. This is not right.

Birds are meant to have daily time outside the cage to stretch their wings, fly, climb, and explore. Parrots are especially smart and need mental stimulation and time to bond with the owner.

The thought of him being confined alone to a small cage without the freedom to fly daily, and not receiving daily love from his owner breaks my heart.

This past week has been a blur. Before work, in-between meetings and after work, I would go around pasting posters, and talking to residents to share my story and check if they have seen him.

I’ve been speaking to condo management in the blocks near me, trying to get them to share my information in the various condo apps.

While some have been helpful, others have been quite harsh.

I've been told things like, “Just buy a new bird,” or that I’ll never get him back.

Imagine having a tiring day of multiple meetings at work; having to search for your bird; not getting any leads and being told insensitive comments like that.

To many, a lost bird doesn’t evoke the same empathy as losing a more conventional pet like a cat or a dog.

For those of us who love our birds, the bond is just as real. The grief of losing them is no less profound.

Biru’s emotional wellbeing

The other lovebird, Biru, seems to be grieving too.

Birds, especially those that form close bonds with their companions, can feel the emotional absence of another bird when they’ve spent so much time together and can grieve.

Birds are highly social animals, and being alone for extended periods can lead to loneliness or boredom, which might affect Biru’s emotional well-being.

I know he cannot be alone for too long and would need a new companion if Banana does not come back.

At the same time, it is not a step I wish to take at this point. My heart does not have space to love a new pet at this point. It does require emotional capacity to bond with and tame an adult one or feed a new baby bird multiple times a day.

If you ever lose a pet, these are the steps to take:

1. Post in Lost and Found Pets Facebook Group and other Facebook and Telegram groups

2. Contact AVS at their 24-hour hotline (1800-476-1600) and SPCA to report a missing pet, in case someone turns it in.

3. Create a poster with clear pictures and paste it in the nearby areas. Be sure to engage residents and share your story with them. Help them relate to the pet and situation emotionally.

4. If you stay in an area with a lot of condos, ask your friends who live there to post in condo resident apps. Or, talk to the guards in each condos to ask them for help.

5. Alert your MP and ask them to help to post in Grassroots whatsapp chats. I lost Biru on Christmas in Dec 2020 and this was how I found him.

If you’d like to help me: Share this in your whatsapp groups

Banana is a domesticated animal who associates humans with food and comfort. It is highly likely Banana flew into someone house.

They might not know how to return him or understand the impact it might have on the original owner.

I am hoping to reach out to as many people as I can, especially the older generation. If you could send this post to your friends and family, especially those living in RedHill/Tanglin/RiverValley/Tiong Bahru/Dawson, I will be super grateful.

He could be anywhere in Singapore. Someone could pass him to their friend who lives somewhere else.

You can use these caption to post in WhatsApp groups. This will take 60 seconds of your time:

Special thanks to my Dad, Z, HX, XY,ZQ and others who have been there for me emotionally; anyone who has helped spread the word and, my boss for allowing me to WFH entirely this week.

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