My self-improvement plan for Q3

There are many areas I am working on to become a better professional and a more well-rounded person.

In this post, I am sharing my reflections about where I feel I have fallen short; the thought process that led me to behave in certain ways.

Most importantly, I will be including the specific actions I will be taking to improve.

I hope that these efforts towards improvement will benefit myself and those around me.

1) Have more empathy and communicate better

I have a tendency to value efficiency. I like saving time and also helping others save time. That is why I have written so much about productivity.

At the same time, I need to balance efficiency with empathy.

My manager highlighted recently that the way I communicate can sometimes be curt and directive.

When I read messages from others, I disregard all the pleasantries. I feel these are just 花言巧语 (Pleasant-sounding words which are insincere).

Hence, when I communicate with others, I too have a tendency to go straight to the point.

I believe this style of writing was influenced by my managers in my formative career years as well. It shaped the way I communicate too.

My boss shared that while all these things are 花言巧语 to me, they actually mean a lot to other people.

I feel that there some instances where being concise is helpful: Writing content and presenting and reporting news. However, it can also lack warmth.

I am trying to do better in this area.

For example, recently a customer success manager at work got upset that I reached out to an existing user without informing her.

This is a contrast between how I would usually respond on slack versus what I am trying to do these days.

I never really like people who focuses on logic a lot more and disregard emotions. Recognizing that the way I show up is leaning in that direction is a huge motivation for change.

At the same time, it is hard. I find this style of writing to take quite a bit of mental and emotional load.

However, if what I consider as inconsequential fluff is really valuable and positive to others, improving is worth my effort and time.

Action items:

1. Be more thoughtful about messages. Run them through chatgpt if needed.

2. If there is anything even slightly negative or when asking for help, aim to use in-person communication instead of written communication. That way my message will not be misinterpreted.

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2. Recognize that words mean a lot, not just action

I am someone who does not place much value in words.

Yes, I like compliments and appreciation in a 1-1 setting. However, if they are not accompanied by actions, it does not mean as much to me. It is cheap and easy to say things.

When people tell me they want to see APAC succeed, I can hear the words. However, it does not register in my heart. I feel that people just need to say as part of their job and to look good. 字可以吃的吗？

However, when our leader took a 13 hour flight, flew down to Singapore, dealt with jetlag, interviewed multiple candidates and put tons of effort to hire a good APAC lead for us - I felt really touched. That, to me, is wanting to see APAC succeed.

Similarly, my boss can say all he wants about caring about my growth. However, what mattered is that he made time, travelled in the hot sun to a cafe near my place to have a heart-to-heart review on what is working and what needs to improve.

Just because words alone mean little to me, it does not mean it means little to others.

In fact, in workplaces and countries with more western culture, words of affirmation is really important.

I live in an expat area and always hear western parents there praising kids a lot. Every thing is “Wonderful!”, “Excellent!” and “Amazing”.

Data shows it too: