How to deal with situations in life we cannot change

On my plane ride to Europe, I ended up sitting next to an extremely obese person.

To help you visualize the situation, here are some details:

He took up 30%-40% of my seat in addition to 100% of his own.

He could not use the normal seat belt and required a seatbelt extender

He had to hold his food to eat it as the table of the plane could not be flipped downwards due to his size.

When I first saw that I was going to be seated near him, I was really upset. This was a 13 hour flight!

I tried to speak to the air steward privately to request if I could change seats. Sadly, the flight was full.

In the first one hour, I was upset and angry.

I wondered why we both paid the same price for the ticket but I only get 70% of a seat but he got 130%.

I felt really uncomfortable that I had to have physical contact with him for almost the entire duration of the flight. I did not like it as I wanted my own space.

My frustration grew as I saw him gobble down the cake, chips and beer. I wondered to myself why he wanted to add more mass to his body when I already had so little space.

Then, I realized that I was the one making myself unhappy.

Physically, I am already in discomfort. However, mentally, all the anguish was caused by my own negative thoughts.

I had two choices - to continue to suffer or reframe my perspective.

I chose the latter.

Firstly, I reminded myself to have some compassion for this man.

Perhaps he went through some trauma in life and is using food to cope.

In his own way, he is already suffering every day both physically and mentally. In fact, taking a plane might him feel self-conscious or uncomfortable as well.

I felt he was in his own way trying his best to take up as little space as possible, moving his arms closer to himself.

I deliberately shifted my thoughts focused instead on things to be grateful for.

The air steward who was kind to me; my family who sent me off and being able to go to extend business travel to Europe.

Sitting with limited space for 13 hours does not take away from this wonderful experiences and events in my life.

For the rest of my flight, I slept well and woke up only 2-3 hours after the plane was about to land.

We cannot always change our circumstances. However, it is good to remember that they are not permanent. To reduce our misery, we have to change our mindset.

How to slow aging

When I look at people in my social circle, I am often surprised by how two people who was 30 years old can be so drastically different in biological age.

This gap only grows wider with each passing year.

Genetics play a role. However, ultimately, we decide our own fate.